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SEXCAPADES
Let’s be honest… Everyone has a tale to tell about an embarrassing sex moment – whether it happened to them, their friend, or to a ‘friend of a friend of a friend’!
It could be one of those moments where you blush from head to toe. Perhaps it might even be in the category of wishing the ground would just open up and swallow you whole. Or it could be classed as a life-changing event where you consider packing your bags, buying a one-way ticket and changing your name!
One positive out of these embarrassing sexcapades is that they provide hours of entertainment for your friends and for us! So write in and share the love (or at least the laughs!)... Sex by candlelight While having a hot steamy session by candlelight in my small bedroom in a share flat, the male in my company started making loud, "OH OH OH OH", noises as his eyes widened and he sat upright in bed. I was all for a bit of ego fluffing so joined in with a few high pitched groans myself. His gestures became more exaggerated and he mustered the strength to fling me off my dominatrix position just in time to stamp out the flames that were leaping off the pillow towards the walls. In the throws of uncontrolled passion it seems the candle was placed a little too close to the bedding.
A helping hand
My boyfriend had come over after school to helping me with my homework assignment on the computer. It was far from a romantic experience so I decided to spice things up a little and slid my hand down his jeans for a bit of a quick hand job! He started to get into it just as I heard my mum’s footsteps walking up the hallway towards the study to see what we wanted for dinner. I quickly tried to yank my hand from out of his jeans but the large ring I always wore on my middle finger decided it didn’t want to leave and had somehow tangled itself in his pubes! My mum walked in, my hand was stuck down my boyfriend’s pants and there were red faces all round!
Kitchen kitsch
While sharing a house with 2 single people my boyfriend and I took the opportunity of their absence for a ‘quickie’ in the kitchen. The bench proved an agreeable height to heighten my pleasure and the session ended in a collapsed heap on the living room floor. After a shower and change of clothes I went to the fridge for a refreshment when our flat mate tentatively appeared from her bedroom adjacent to the kitchen. With understandable shock I said, "Oh, Suzie, I didn't know you were home?" She replied with a cool, "OBVIOUSLY". There was nothing really I could say, and I didn't think asking her what she'd like for dinner was really going to help.
The love boat
If I’m more than likely going to end up spending the night at a guy’s house then I make sure I’m prepared….breath mints, sexy underwear and a hot looking outfit that won’t stick out like a sore thumb at breakfast the next morning. Dave was gorgeous and I couldn’t wait to get him home. What I wasn’t prepared for was the fact that he had…..A WATERBED! Aside from feeling like I was having uncoordinated sex on a pool lilo, I woke up the next day feeling very seedy and thinking I was marooned on a beach. Mental note for next time – pack sea sickness tablets!
A Kodak moment
Matt was gorgeous, funny and an incredible shag! It was our second night together and we were feeling a lot more comfortable with each other than the first. I’d bought a new mobile phone that day and was showing him the walkman function on it. He flicked it over to the camera mode and started taking pictures of us together. Mucking around, he decided it would incredibly funny if he took a photo of his erect dick! Marvelling at its beauty, as all boys probably do, he jokingly said “I think I’ll send this to myself as a momento!”. Looking up his number in my phone directory he scrolled down to ‘Matt’, which directly preceded ‘Mum’. Instead of highlighting Matt, he highlighted Mum and the rest is history. My mum woke up to a photo message from her daughter of her shag’s dick! And with today’s new technology it was ‘picture perfect quality’ leaving nothing to the imagination. How embarrassing!
Fiery passion
My now-girlfriend was coming over for dinner, and a bit of bedroom action was looking hopeful. Being a romantic sort of guy I thought I’d make my bedroom look as seductive as possible for dessert! My flat mate was going through an Indian phase and had picked up some exotic sari skirt at the market that morning. Given it was lying on the floor in the hallway anyway I thought she wouldn’t mind if I draped it over the lamp in the corner of the room for a bit of ‘ambience’! Things heated up and we ended up in the sari lit bedroom going for it. Halfway through the act I smelt smoke and immediately got distracted. The light bulb had got so hot that it had caused the sari to melt into the lamp!
The Scream
I was at the pub one night when a sexy English backpacker caught my eye. One thing led to the other and she ended up back at my place. I’d read about them, I’d heard about them but I’d never been lucky enough to witness one... she was a complete screamer! “Ben. Bennn. Bennnnnn” I was loving every minute of it (and she had clearly remembered my name)! What I didn’t realise was the my flat mate’s mum and grandma were down for the weekend and were staying in the front room, being subjected to every moan, groan and scream! Breakfast the next morning was decidedly awkward.
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